watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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