I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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