how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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