im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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