After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
