So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize