Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
