So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
