its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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