just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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