Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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