Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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