is your mom at the bar?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
