Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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