its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize