so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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