i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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