u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
