sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
