So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
