no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am mentally ready for anal.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
