It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
