He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
tell me about the eggs
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
