I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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