Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
