My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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