he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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