Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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