You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."