i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.