Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.