this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Is it penis luge time yet?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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