whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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