I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
