it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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