My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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