Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
