very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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