I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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