mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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