I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize