You can't motorboat a personality
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
