Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I need moral support for this bender
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize