It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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