now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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