i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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