He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.