At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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