a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just cropdusted the office
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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