What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
