idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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