any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
