he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
