he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This baby is an asshole
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Drunk is not a location!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
