Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
