he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
do nipples grow back?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
