PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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