dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
