the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
