I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
