this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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