Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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