Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
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I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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