And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize