My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
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hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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